If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I, I was not made for here.
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary, then of course I’ll feel nude when to where I’m destined I’m compared.
A simple walk this morning turned into a glorious moment of grace or maybe mercy…or, perhaps both walked beside me this early morning.
You see, my Chocolate Kisses are in training. I need for them to learn to walk better beside me and NOT in front of me. I expect this of them and I will win!
For those of you who don’t know, my Chocolate Kisses are my chocolate labs, whose names are Enderfisk and Alyeska. I know, right? They have very unique names but they are also very unique rescues <3.
It’s not that easy. I mean, together they weigh a hefty 145 lbs and being the Warrior Woman I believe I am…I walk them with one hand…one arm…teaching them it is safer to be beside me than out in front. I’m exhausted and at the very least, believe my right shoulder has now been dislocated. Alas, this too shall pass.
You know, I can’t really blame them. It is their nature to be free, to leap ahead, to explore, to be carefree and spontaneous…sniff here…sniff there…full of life and energy, to protect me. Period. That is who they are.
During our walk this morning I was very aware of God’s presence. There was no sun shining only an overcast sky but I saw it and felt it anyway. It was a crisp “winter” morning here in Florida, which simply means the temperature was below 80 degrees…still I hope for cooler weather.
There are many lessons to be learned in the mundane of our lives if we take the time to listen…I could hear the birds singing and a beautiful stillness in the air… caused me to hope.
Hope in a newness.
Hope in a fresh start.
Hope to make a difference this New Year…You know the hope I speak of for when you experience it, your heart leaps a little in your chest, a bounce returns to your step and a renewed determination to press onward and upward ignites once again in your spirit.
The Chocolate Kisses and I continued to walk and my heart sings within me as a result of a gentle peace that only my Heavenly Papa can bring.
I’m in love with life. I’m in love with my growth in Christ becoming more like Him, as slow as that has been. I’m in love with my change that only comes from a deep desire to know Him and follow Him.
I find myself smiling more these days.
Hoping more these days.
Resting more these days.
Listening more these days.
Growing more in love with a beautiful Savior these days. It is all very much connected to this one choice in my life: Loving Him who first loved me.
In a very chaotic world that seems to be growing only darker. I have no fear or worries. For His Word is true. I don’t worry…I pray. Phil 4:6-7 (MSG)
Just as I see my beautiful Chocolate Kisses attempting to please me and to learn, my Heavenly Papa sees my attempt to please Him and to learn. He sees my heart and feeble attempt to honor Him by letting Him do and be in me and all the while trying to pull ahead of Him; not waiting or walking beside Him but leaping ahead, exploring, sniffing here and sniffing there.
Don’t you experience this feeling sometimes, too? There’s just too much to smell and see and experience in this one life we have been given and we don’t want to miss any more of it so we leap ahead and we forget…we feel the pull on our gentle leader not from His hand but from our own resistance to authority and hopefully we remember to slow and wait…sometimes we don’t.
I have found it is much safer to walk beside Him for He guides my steps. He restores my soul. He created the path that I walk on so He knows the potholes I should avoid, the puddles I should jump and…what’s around the corner even if He doesn’t necessarily tell me until we get there.
Around the corner, we pass a ferociously barking dog held back only by an electric shock collar [WHAT?!] and I tell my Chocolate Kisses to keep going…keep walking…don’t stop…good babies…great job…and I’m exhausted. 145lbs of leaping, charging, protectors.
As I reflect on this moment, I remember the days I have passed by ferociously barking dogs held back only by electric shock collars and I scream [WHAT?!] and He has said these very words to me “keep going…stay by me…I’ve got this… keep your eyes forward, it’s simply a distraction. Their barks may be loud but I AM louder.” Yes, Papa, I interject, …but the distraction has teeth and lots of them. All the while He says “keep going…stay by me…I’m gently leading you…don’t stop…don’t be afraid…good girl…great job…you’ve got this…Next.”
Next?! Please not another distraction, not another detour I’m ready to be comfortable and have things easy.
I wonder if you can relate to what I am about to say…I really do prefer what makes me comfortable…I feel safe, secure, and at ease. However, I find that what I deem as comfortable and easy is keeping me numb and in a place of complacency and away from being all that my Heavenly Papa has created me to be…I’m missing the birth of who I was born to become. I’m stalling for the easy when birthing is anything but easy. Do you hear me mothers?
Our time is but a breath
So we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live
I was made to love
I was made to know You
Hope is coming for me
Hope is coming for me
-Brooke Fraser (C.S. Lewis Song lyrics)
Just like my precious Chocolate Kisses I, too, was a rescue when my Papa found me. I was damaged in every way imaginable and holding all of my damage inside. Even though I may not know all of the injustice previously done to my fur-babies…they are safe now and loved and secure in my home. Just as I lovingly train my Chocolate Kisses into obedience for their own good, my loving Heavenly Papa is training me…and training me…gently leading. Don’t you love the fact that He never pulls He only gently leads. He doesn’t force. He guides.
Oh, I might jerk on the chain a time or two or three or four – but unlike me, He does know the injustice that was done to me by individuals who were just as wounded and without the knowledge of a loving Savior. Father thank you for forgiving them. I have. I am safe now and loved and secure in His loving embrace.
Hope is coming for me…time for another walk!
May you have a blessed New Year on your seasoned journey of this beautiful life…remember to hope! He’s coming for you.
I am a wife, mother of fur-babies, married to an amazing Labor of Love and living this amazing journey called LIFE! I have discovered the sheer joy of writing…have written much but have posted little. I am a woman who has finally discovered her worth and value and moving forward in faith! Thanks for joining me on this journey…it is going to be an amazing ride!