His life ended today.

A total stranger…yet the impact of that moment I believe has forever changed my life.  I’m grateful for growth.

Isn’t that what moments in our lives are meant to be?

Moments that change us?  Hopefully most for the better but some not so much.  We get to choose.

Early in the morning on our way to church, we were following behind a vehicle that kept swerving off the road. Multiple times he drove off the shoulder of the road and course-corrected to get back into his lane…and then there was the time he didn’t.

Seeing a miracle unfold before us in a moment that lasted only seconds as his SUV crossed six lanes of highway, crossing the median, reaching the other side of the road only to go airborne flipping multiple times before coming to a stop.  None of the other cars in his path were hit and no one else was injured. 

Seeing the frailty of a human body as it is slung from a window only to land in a crumpled heap on the pavement… and then stillness.   

It happened in less than a minute.

We stopped to offer help but life slipped from this young man as my husband knelt beside him, soothed him, called his name, …AND PRAYED…hoping for a second chance, a healing…another miracle.

One moan and then nothing and I wandered briefly if he knew.

My husband never left his side…

He was a lone soul who needed not to be alone at that moment.  In the end, he wasn’t.

We were strangers and yet, we weren’t.  He was another of God’s creations that needed to know in the end he was loved and I hope in some small part he knew that he was.

We now know his name but know nothing of his life. Nothing but the debris of his life that littered the pavement around him like a protective circle.

I’ve been pondering what I saw and I realized…  

How often do we look at the debris of a man’s life and judge him never for one moment knowing his story? Labeling him with an identity based upon the debris of his past that we see but never his heart that we can’t… and whether by our own fear of inadequacy or failure or inconvenience, never thinking of walking through his debris, his shattered dreams and brokenness to be by his side when he needs not to be alone. When he desperately needs to know he isn’t alone, that his life matters…to someone.  

There is always a biblical principle for everything in life…always a lesson to be learned.

Here it is…

My husband simply knelt down to be with him…to be present in that short moment with him. I believe that meant something.

And someone else has done that very thing for us.

Jesus knows our name. He’s always known.

He knows everything about our lives.

He not only observes the debris of our lives, the shattered dreams and brokenness but does not hesitate to walk to us to be near us and…

He kneels…

He comforts…

He loves…

He is present with us…

And He calls us by name…

If we allow ourselves to be the center point of our own lives, then what pours from our core, will be the debris that begins and ends with us…the hurts, the wounds, the unkindness, the hatred, the judgments, the cruelty…caused by wounds never fully healed by the blood of Christ. Wounds we were never meant to carry.

However, if we allow Jesus to be the center of our lives, then everything that pours from our core begins with Him…and it will not be the debris of our lives but the beautiful moments of our lives where joy is possible, love is possible, kindness is possible, healing is possible, peace is possible because through Christ, all things are possible.

We are not alone.  He will never leave us nor forsake us.

People are not an interruption to our day.  They are another opportunity for us to reflect the love of Jesus to a hurting and dying world who do not know Him.

What if we viewed walking with someone on their journey not as an interruption but rather as an opportunity to help them through the brokenness of their lives?  Leading them to a loving Savior who can mend all brokenness.  It will be messy.  It will most certainly interfere with our “busy” schedules. It will be inconvenient at times but it will be worth it. It is the needful thing.

What if we viewed these divine appointments as God trusting us with the heart of one of His creations for that specific moment in time? I wonder how we would respond.

Out of everyone living on the planet on that day, in that moment, God entrusted us with the last moments of one young man’s life and his loss.

The journey of learning continues…

I’m so very grateful Jesus walked through the debris of my life and my heart so I would never be alone and He has never left my side.

I do not know if this young man knew Jesus before he died.  I hope he did.  My heart grieves for him if he didn’t…but this moment has awakened me to this fact…life is but a breath.

…it all begins by putting others first  because in the end, only kindness matters.

Peace be the journey,

Maggie

On September 11, 2016, I turned 52.  I set my face like stone (Is. 50:7) and never turned back…

One simple act of obedience.  That’s it.  That’s all it took and a brand new chapter of my life has begun.  It required a choice.  One choice.  Something only I could do to be free.  Free of my past and free of any last remnant of a hurt, habit or hang up that was holding me back from being all that I could be for Jesus.

Over the last 8 months I’ve walked through many revelations of who I am, who I am becoming and how God sees me.  Some of those revelations brought laughter and many tears but all brought healing and release.  I did all of this alongside my fellow Celebrate Recovery ladies with the help of Holy Spirit. He never left my side and never dropped His scalpel.

In that pursuit, I discovered ME.  The ME God created and sees and loves and adores.  Not the me that the enemy tried to convince me was real…the one full of fear, anxiety, unforgiveness, self-loathing and trust issues…but the ME that my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, deemed worthy to be beaten, rejected, and ultimately die to redeem. Satan is a liar and he is good at it. But he has been found out!

I had a beautiful arrangement of support along the way:  My CR family, sponsor, accountability partner, husband, and Holy Spirit.  Holy Spirit is so loving, so kind, so gentle, so firm, so truthful, so merciful and so very gracious.  He is my greatest fan, my greatest teacher, and the greatest pruner by far. 

As for my discoveries along the way?  These are just a few:

I’ve discovered that everyone has a story and most importantly a back story which has made us who we are.  Some of us have been tragically damaged by past “chapters” of that story which have caused us to fail to see how strong we really are. 

I’ve learned I want to be the one who loves and sees as Jesus does. I CAN. I want to be the one who gives grace and mercy first.  I CAN. I want to the be the who trusts and calls forth the greatness in others.  I WILL.  because the good and the great that God intended for us is still there buried beneath the layers of guilt, shame and lies. We just need to be reminded that we are amazing in God’s eyes.

I’ve discovered there is an external rebellion and an internal rebellion both of which are damaging.  External rebellion is rebellion seen by all; internal rebellion is kept secret by one BUT both kinds of rebellion are known by God.  External rebellion is easily identifiable (addictions of all kinds).  You know, we tend to avoid “those people” don’t we? BUT, there is an equally devastating rebellion – internal  (pride, arrogance, judgmental, critical, fantasy), which causes us to be like “those people” only internally where we think no one sees.  For those like me with internal rebellion, we can’t act out the external desires because of fear and anxiety that someone will see, that we will get into trouble, that people will think we are bad and are like “those people” but we are in great danger of setting ourselves up as little gods judging the masses because we now set the standard for what is good and what is bad. 

If no one sees me doing bad then I am good?

If someone sees you doing bad, then are you bad?

The danger?  Whose standard of judgment am I passing.  God’s or my own?  Could it be that the label we impose upon ourselves as “bad” is really not something that is bad but rather something that is missing in our relationship with Christ that He so desperately wants to give us, to help us experience in order to set us free?

I’ve discovered that for a lot of us, we tend to focus only on our bad qualities; our mistakes; our sins and all the times we repeat all of the above and never really see the good that He made us to be.  Our sin nature died with Jesus.  God does not see our sin, He sees His beautiful creation – it is time for us to begin to see ourselves through a different lens.  It is not that I have to work on cleaning up my sin – I no longer have any, it died with Jesus.  What I do have is victory over sin through Him.  What I need to practice is holiness and righteousness. 

I may not get it right the first or second or third time but it is not that I have to clean myself up before coming to Jesus…I’m already clean because of what He did for me.  What I need to do now is reprogram my thinking and learn to be as Jesus is and put into practical application the principles of God found in His word.  I don’t have to do any more.  I simply get to be more.

I’ve discovered a “no Judgment” zone in CR – the enemy tells us no one will like us; they will judge us; they will leave us if they know us – HE IS A LIAR.  There is a freedom in having no more secrets – there isn’t anything in my life now that someone doesn’t know about and is praying for me.  I never thought I would be able to share the dark and ugly but there is strength in numbers, especially warrior women headed on the same path to be the best Christians we can be for the glory of His name.

I’ve discovered that God’s word is true.  If we confess our faults one to another we will be healed. (James 5:16)  I am healed and I am free.

I’ve discovered a small group of women – perhaps strangers in the beginning – cheering each other on as we progressed through our journey, becoming friends and warrior women for God…not perfect…but being changed from glory to glory for His glory!

I no longer wish to be known as just a Christian. I want to be known as a blood bought, sold out Believer in the Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior and Holy Spirit my true friend and encourager.

I know that my journey does not end at the graduation of this CR class.  There will be many fresh challenges just around the corner but without trials there is no growth and without revelation there is no healing. 

I know that our lives, many times, may tend to go in the opposite direction of where we want to go for a season but it is necessary so we can learn to be with God and grow to be more like Christ.  It may be difficult, but it’s not going to kill us.  

It has been almost a year of discovery and I have learned that if I don’t glorify God in the process, it will be hard for me to glorify Him any other way. Hurting people are watching and they need hope and if proper behavior is never modeled for them, it can never be learned or received.

You know, grace and freedom feel amazing.  It all begins with a choice.  You decide.

Blessed and living free,

Maggie

Dedictated to my lovely Celebrate Recovery friends.  You know who you are I have loved traveling this journey with you and believe only God’s best for your bright futures!

]]> https://seasonedjourney.org/2017/05/27/she-wakes/feed/ 1 download benourishednaturally 9bdac0f32cf167a7c177d6c5b04e83a2 https://seasonedjourney.org/2016/01/02/hope-is-coming-for-me/ https://seasonedjourney.org/2016/01/02/hope-is-coming-for-me/#comments Sat, 02 Jan 2016 20:19:08 +0000 http://seasonedjourney.org/?p=85

If I find in myself desires nothing in this  world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I, I was not made for here.  

If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary, then of course I’ll feel nude when to where I’m destined I’m compared.

C.S. Lewis

A simple walk this morning turned into a glorious moment of grace or maybe mercy…or, perhaps both walked beside me this early morning.

You see, my Chocolate Kisses are in training.  I need for them to learn to walk better beside me and NOT in front of me.  I expect this of them and I will win!

For those of you who don’t know, my Chocolate Kisses are my chocolate labs, whose names are Enderfisk and Alyeska.  I know, right?  They have very unique names but they are also very unique rescues <3.

It’s not that easy.  I mean, together they weigh a hefty 145 lbs and being the Warrior Woman I believe I am…I walk them with one hand…one arm…teaching them it is safer to be beside me than out in front. I’m exhausted and at the very least, believe my right shoulder has now been dislocated.  Alas, this too shall pass.

You know, I can’t really blame them. It is their nature to be free, to leap ahead, to explore, to be carefree and spontaneous…sniff here…sniff there…full of life and energy, to protect me. Period.  That is who they are.

During our walk this morning I was very aware of God’s presence. There was no sun shining only an overcast sky but I saw it and felt it anyway. It was a crisp “winter” morning here in Florida, which simply means the temperature was below 80 degrees…still I hope for cooler weather.

There are many lessons to be learned in the mundane of our lives if we take the time to listen…I could hear the birds singing and a beautiful stillness in the air… caused me to hope.

Hope in a newness.

Hope in a fresh start.

Hope to make a difference this New Year…You know the hope I speak of for when you experience it, your heart leaps a little in your chest, a bounce returns to your step and a renewed determination to press onward and upward ignites once again in your spirit.

The Chocolate Kisses and I continued to walk and my heart sings within me as a result of a gentle peace that only my Heavenly Papa can bring.

I’m in love with life.  I’m in love with my growth in Christ becoming more like Him, as slow as that has been.  I’m in love with my change that only comes from a deep desire to know Him and follow Him.

I find myself smiling more these days.

Hoping more these days.

Resting more these days.

Listening more these days.

Growing more in love with a beautiful Savior these days. It is all very much connected to this one choice in my life:  Loving Him who first loved me.

In a very chaotic world that seems to be growing only darker.  I have no fear or worries.  For His Word is true.  I don’t worry…I pray. Phil 4:6-7 (MSG)

Just as I see my beautiful Chocolate Kisses attempting to please me and to learn, my Heavenly Papa sees my attempt to please Him and to learn.  He sees my heart and feeble attempt to honor Him by letting Him do and be in me and all the while trying to pull ahead of Him; not waiting or walking beside Him but leaping ahead, exploring, sniffing here and sniffing there.

Don’t you experience this feeling sometimes, too?  There’s just too much to smell and see and experience in this one life we have been given and we don’t want to miss any more of it so we leap ahead and we forget…we feel the pull on our gentle leader not from His hand but from our own resistance to authority and hopefully we remember to slow and wait…sometimes we don’t.

I have found it is much safer to walk beside Him for He guides my steps. He restores my soul. He created the path that I walk on so He knows the potholes I should avoid, the puddles I should jump and…what’s around the corner even if He doesn’t necessarily tell me until we get there.

Around the corner, we pass a ferociously barking dog held back only by an electric shock collar [WHAT?!] and I tell my Chocolate Kisses to keep going…keep walking…don’t stop…good babies…great job…and I’m exhausted.  145lbs of leaping, charging, protectors.

As I reflect on this moment, I remember the days I have passed by ferociously barking dogs held back only by electric shock collars and I scream [WHAT?!] and He has said these very words to me “keep going…stay by me…I’ve got this… keep your eyes forward, it’s simply a distraction.  Their barks may be loud but I AM louder.”  Yes, Papa, I interject, …but the distraction has teeth and lots of them.   All the while He says “keep going…stay by me…I’m gently leading you…don’t stop…don’t be afraid…good girl…great job…you’ve got this…Next.”

Next?!  Please not another distraction, not another detour I’m ready to be comfortable and have things easy.

I wonder if you can relate to what I am about to say…I really do prefer what makes me comfortable…I feel safe, secure, and at ease.  However, I find that what I deem as comfortable and easy is keeping me numb and in a place of complacency and away from being all that my Heavenly Papa has created me to be…I’m missing the birth of who I was born to become. I’m stalling for the easy when birthing is anything but easy.  Do  you hear me mothers?

Our time is but a breath
So we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live
I was made to love
I was made to know You

Hope is coming for me
Hope is coming for me
                                                  -Brooke Fraser (C.S. Lewis Song lyrics)

Just like my precious Chocolate Kisses I, too, was a rescue when my Papa found me.  I was damaged in every way imaginable and holding all of my damage inside.  Even though I may not know all of the injustice previously done to my fur-babies…they are safe now and loved and secure in my home.  Just as I lovingly train my Chocolate Kisses into obedience for their own good, my loving Heavenly Papa is training me…and training me…gently leading.  Don’t you love the fact that He never pulls He only gently leads. He doesn’t force. He guides.

Oh, I might jerk on the chain a time or two or three or four – but unlike me, He does know the injustice that was done to me by individuals who were just as wounded and without the knowledge of a loving Savior. Father thank you for forgiving them.  I have. I am safe now and loved and secure in His loving embrace.

Hope is coming for me…time for another walk!

May you have a blessed New Year on your seasoned journey of this beautiful life…remember to hope!  He’s coming for you.

Maggie

I am a wife, mother of fur-babies, married to an amazing Labor of Love and living this amazing journey called LIFE! I have discovered the sheer joy of writing…have written much but have posted little. I am a woman who has finally discovered her worth and value and moving forward in faith! Thanks for joining me on this journey…it is going to be an amazing ride!

He knows me…not the woman I was or had become but the woman I am!  

They are just a simple pair of shoes, right?

However, you have to admit they’re pretty cool and PINK!

My Labor of Love, my dear husband, surprised me with my new shoes at dinner last night. He had me close my eyes tightly and when I opened them…my heart smiled.  If a heart can smile – and I believe it can – then my heart literally smiled. There’s hope!

It was a simple gift.  No fancy wrappings.  No fanfare.

Yet, the gift was lovingly given. I was on his mind when he picked these for me.

Just the right size.  Just the right color: PINK!

That makes me smile even more…why?  Because I was on his mind.

You see my L.O.L (and no, this does not mean laughing out loud) of almost 30 years…knows me! He has been by my side through the good, the bad and the downright ugly growing seasons of my life.  He has patiently endured much as the process of cleansing the deepest wounds of my heart took more time than either of us care to admit.  Healing and restoration did happen and continues to happen…and my heart smiles.  Anyone else would have walked away but he stayed…why?

Because he knows me… and through the knowing, he loves me.

Again, my heart smiles.

He knows me…not the woman I was or had become through hurt but the woman I am!

He knows my struggles and yet is my biggest fan.

He has seen my pain…yet has given distance for grace to heal.

He listens…when no words are needed.

You see, it really wasn’t the shoes that made my heart smile, it was his thought of me.

In this world of chaos and confusion, he took notice of me.  In the busyness of a daily schedule…he was being my labor of love.

A simple truth learned:

It is the simple and unexpected things of life that are able to produce in us the most enduring joy. 

I once opened my heart to a simple truth and unexpectedly my eyes lit up to Truth…HE knows me. John 3:16 (MSG)

A simple birth…an unexpected arrival and yet…HE thought of us.

It was a sacrificial gift wrapped in a precious baby boy and YES, there was fanfare: A Heavenly Host sang Hallelujah!

Yet, the Gift…JESUS, was lovingly given to us…we were on HIS mind.

It was the perfect Gift to make a willing heart smile and why?

Because…

In this world of chaos and confusion, HE took notice of us.  In the busyness of our daily schedules HE knew exactly what was needed to restore relationship with HIM.

He remains constantly by our side through the good, the bad and the downright ugly growing seasons of our lives.  He has patiently endured the separation as HE continues to love us and provide cleansing for the deepest wounds of our heart. Anyone else would have walked away but HE stayed…why?

Because He knows us…and through the knowing, He loves us.

HE loves us…simple and and sometimes unexpectedly

Again, my heart smiles.

HE knows us…not the person we were or have become but the person we were created to be! Psalm 139 (MSG)

HE knows our struggles and yet is our biggest fan.

HE has seen our pain…yet has given distance for grace to heal.

HE listens…when no words are needed.

I am enamored by His presence,

…by His extravagant grace,

…by His unending mercy; and

…by His unconditional love!

My deepest joy?  He knows me!

What is your deepest joy?  Close your eyes…

He knows you!

…and when He thinks of you…His heart smiles

Maggie

In the deepest heart of every person God planted a longing for Himself, as He is: a God of love. – Eugenia Price

Sigh…another Christmas has come and gone, too quickly.  All aspirations of enjoying this festive season, the gatherings, the lights, the baking (okay, so maybe the thought of baking), seemingly vanished overnight.  I’m sorry but did life happen while I was doing life? 

The lessons continue…

The decorations are carefully stored for next year’s retrieval.  Out of sight and out of mind I say.  However, as I think on that statement, is that truly how I want to live my life in 2013.  Out of sight, out of mind…doing life and missing it?

The answer…No!

This I know, life must be lived on purpose and with intent or we live it for naught. I don’t want to simply exist and miss life!  What happened to experiencing life firsthand–from my own eyes and ears?  Life must be lived by God’s direction and for His purpose or the joy and fulfillment we seek out of living will never manifest before us for He, Himself, is our peace.

So, then, how can I live this year better?

The answer…to live THE life, not A life that God designed and planned for me.  Isn’t that really what it is all about? Jeremiah 29:11 (AMP) …living THE life He has chosen for me and accomplishing the assignments He has given to me?  Living it with love and living it simply.  Running my own race…Hello!  Isn’t that what I just learned in running my first ever half marathon on December 1st.  This is what brings Him Joy…and His joy is my strength.

My declaration:  2013 is my year to live THE life!  I’m not certain of the direction but I’m moving forward–each day taking care of itself–at His direction.  I find it intriguing!  Why?  When every detail of my life must be planned out – no surprises – no interruptions – my way?  Hmm, this type of living may just make amazing fodder for my blogs.  In any event, maybe I’ll enjoy some light-hearted laughter along the way.

God is amazing and He doesn’t need a “Why?” …He just is!

I serve a truly amazing God and deeply love an amazing Saviour – JESUS!  Happy Birthday Jesus

In Him, I live and move and have my being,

Maggie

Job 42

42 ^1;5-6 Job answered God:

After 48 years of life, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am no longer content to live on crusts of hearsay or crumbs of rumors.  I want to experience firsthand–from my own eyes and ears, LIFE! My every day life and my growing and abiding relationship with Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour.

That simple choice has already begun to change the course and outlook of my life.

On December 1, 2012, I completed my first ever half marathon.  Yes, for those of you interested (even if it is only me) that is a whopping 13.1 miles of “why am I doing this?” running through my head every minute for the first two miles and constantly the last three!  But, you know what?  I did it. I didn’t give up.  I didn’t quit–oh, and I wanted to several times I can assure you.

 

I finally finished something to which I committed.  I kept my word!  And how many of us really keep our word anymore (especially to ourselves).  I finished it!  I was the very last person to cross the finish line and for whatever reason, I wear that ranking as a badge of honor without any embarrassment whatsoever because I finished!  With that accomplishment came a new found confidence…in me as if baggage or strongholds were broken off of me the moment I crossed that finish line.

There are so many things I learned about myself in the last eleven months–that is how long training took for this half marathon because I have never run a day in my life on purpose.

…I hate running.

…I don’t have a body for running.

…I can’t get enough oxygen without my lungs hanging out of my nostrils.

I hate, I don’t, I can’t...those words are really the first thing I learned about myself…

I was uttering and speaking negativity over my life with every word that came off of my tongue.  I think all of us, to some degree, have unintentionally been programmed for failure so that when we do try anything new, overcoming the mental aspect of “I can’t do this” is really the first major hurdle we have to overcome.  The mental training far outweighs the physical training in my humble opinion.

This journey for me was really never enjoyable during the training because there were so many mental and physical roadblocks I had to overcome (mostly internal thought processes about me) but if I had not gone through the journey of training I would never have been prepared for the actual marathon.

It is simply amazing what we talk ourselves out of and fail to do simply because of fear and lack of belief in ourselves…just because a thing is uncomfortable doesn’t mean it isn’t doable…yes, it may require change (and it will) and it may require discipline (definitely) but I know with my God ALL things are possible!

2013 begins a brand new year and I want it to be the beginning of the BEST ever life I’ve ever lived and the BEST ever and growing relationship with Jesus leading the way.

Huh, now if someone says 13.1 miles to me…I say with a HUGE smile, “been there, done that and doing it again”…but that is for another telling.

So, until we blog again…be blessed!

Maggie